Wednesday, 24 September 2014

3rd birthday pub poem

Security team in action !
If I can just have everyone’s attention please…
This won’t take long then rice & peas
It’s our 3rd birthday and you’ve all come to see
Our fabulous pub as she turns into three
The party began and the beers flowing steady
So I think it is time – if everyone’s ready?
To set sail on a journey flying through kites
Remembering fondly the fuzzy highlights
So, with a deep cough to clear my throat
As we don’t have time for ceremonial goat
We salute some of our punters with lyrical jam
And gifts that are better than Green eggs & ham
The first and best deserves a big kiss
She makes us all dance in heavenly bliss
Our amazing selector – y’all know who she is
All hands together – because WE LOVE YOU LIZ!
Now for the genius, a gent in every way
He’s rocked this house as I’m sure he will today
The Cat in the Hat with a funky beat
The barest of introductions – Cheer for DJ Pete
Let’s go back – all the way, way, way back
When the bar was purple and the walls were black
Our 1st member of staff, please take a bow
In a minute Drum & Bass from the now - Doctor Rau
The next one is on behalf of the cat
3 legged ginger biting little twat
not saying he’s shallow – or anything like that
but, Legz’s award for ROWDY CAT IN A HAT
goes to Twitters finest, hidden at the back
they might send a ringer THEKENTISHTOWNCATS
There’s one who has gone the extra 1,000 mile
Postcards and help when we were up the Nile
He’s here and then he’s gone – then back before one
Absolute gold and he’s also Posh, John
Hippies are rare but we have the greatest
Happy and funny with celebrity status
The biggest heart that we have ever met
Can everybody shout hooray for Mr Justin Brett
With the art of words come the art of ink
A couple of samurais could make you think
An envious beard and averagely tall
Award winning laughter of RORY HALL
You can’t have one without get the other
So wait for it though – in fact head for cover
The wizard of parties – he’s just like Gandalf
D’ya know that’s the only thing that rhymes with Ralph
As strong as an ox and reliable too
I suppose he’s thing one, his brother is 2
Everyone likes him, even his old lady
Cider up you lot – it’s CIARAN O’GRADY
Someone has to be the youngest – everyone say ahhhh
But who dya thinks the brightest on Tuesday behind the bar
And I suppose 3 brothers makes you quite hardy
Ladies & Gents – here’s our Emily Spary
Dissertations take a very long time to do
Someone we know and I think you do too
Has finished it now – For a holiday coup
Our fingers are crossed – Come ON MANU
This one was hard cos he’s skinny and tall
Peugeot’s biggest fan of premiership football
Football and ladies. Oh, and that’s not all…
Our Number 1 bartender – lets hear it for Paul
For services and attendance and sometimes rendered
A special mention from all he’s befriended
Here we are, at the end of this marathon
For excessive attendance – I present Jonathon
As Jon wanders back to his friends to reload
We’d like to acknowledge 8 Prospero Road
Joe and Isabel we’ve known you four years
Now Andy & Carrie have regular beers
When we celebrate and no matter the season
Certain attendees – they don’t need a reason
Can we get them up here – and now everyone cheer!
Belly I’ve not finished – did you know she’s half a Bear?
And in this very room – she met…. Where’s Gillard Bear?
21st century Aficionados of contemporary and well read
The original Bad news Bears: Robbie, Gillard, Lavi & Ed
And their ring leader who keeps tabs on all the scores
Graeme get your team up here – cue the massive applause.
Now, on a Tuesday there’s some tough opposition
So we salute the biggest rivals who come on a mission
No-one can beat them on movies and Oscars
Comic book heroes and classical operas
Ed where’s your film buffs, get Arthur & Billy
Did you think we’d forgot Jara, Adam & Joe – Don’t be silly?
Last, but not least – and I hope no imposition
For propping up the bar some with infinite precision
It’s special mention time for those extra milers
Solid folk with hearts of gold here’s our Superstylers
And Nick & Ali for your personal touch
To Nick & Dee thank-you so much
For Irish Tom who now remembers our lighter
And Doctor Phil, who’s the worlds safest biker
Where is the gorgeous Kemi - Baby D’s mum
And did Welsh James move south for the sun?
Only 1 left, can we have a drum roll please…
We couldn’t decide - so we did Loz & JT’s
So you think it’s all over and you think you’ve been forgotten
Oh the thinks that we think - we couldn’t be so rotten
I hope we thought outside of the box
Time marches on – it ticks and it tocks
We were just going to buy everyone’s drink
But we got you these instead – Whaddya think?
So later there’s dancing and Daisy cooked a feast
So just for a moment from the west and to the east
Put your hands together - it’s for a very good cause
And help me to thank Amber with the noisiest applause
Thank-you so much for all attending this party
All the best people and what a malarkey
At last my speech is over – time for disco sound
Bars open – My Selector, make ‘em Jump Around?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

EXCELLENT 😂

ChizzaChong said...

Cheers Dee.

It was fun to do - scary stood on the bar reading it... i nearly fell off !