Sunday 23 December 2012

Christmas Humbugs.

Dear Santa,

How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.

Merry Christmas,

Timmy Jones

* *

Dear Timmy,

Thank you for you letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn’t want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I’ll bring you something you can go outside and play with.*

Merry Christmas,

Santa Claus


Mr. Claus,

Seeing that I have fulfilled the “naughty vs. Nice” contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn’t want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don’t you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?


Tim Jones

* *

Mr. Jones,

While I have acknowledged you have met the “nice” criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorney’s have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.

Very Truly Yours,

S Claus

* *

Now look here Fat Man,

I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I’m about to tweet my boys and we’re gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I’m taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!


* *

Listen Pizza Face,

Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? “He sees you when you’re sleeping; He knows when you’re awake”. Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your shit wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you’d throw up your Totino’s pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom’s basement. You’re not getting what you asked for, but I’m still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in you’re ass and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.

S Clizzy

* *

Dear Santa,

Bring me whatever you see fit. I’ll appreciate anything.


* *


That’s what I thought you little bastard.


Monday 3 December 2012

Quiz beginning with W

another quiz title from you lot, and this one is in honour of how fragile the bears tend to feel on a wednesday after quiz! not sure how it'll work yet, but it'll be broad general knowledge base & we'll chuck in a daft game & probably a twist somewhere along the line..... sweetie & boozy prizes, the chance to play 'higher or lower'. come & play!

Also - its nearly Christmas - And then our New Years Party
You will need a ticket - Speak to Amber or Chris

Kitchens bust at the moment - so, No food - but as soon as we are sorted and its back - i'll tell ya.

Chat today of some serious Comedy coming to the Pub - watch this space.

Loads more soon
Rave safe

Sunday 4 November 2012

Bonfire Quiz - Christmas - New Beer

Fireworks, Christmas Crackers and party poppers...
It's that time of the year again - and if last year is anything to go by ... it will be nuts!!

This weeks quiz - will be loosely themed around the 5th of November gunpowder plot and ting !
This Friday Night - Liz Wheatley will be playing here - don't miss her discotastic rare groove funkathon.
Sally is having a party - i think, the whole world is invited..
We have a new beer installed - Pilsner Urquell - it's Yummy ! - and we removed Stella for good measure.

See you when you get here. Mwah !

Sunday 28 October 2012

Halloween Pub Quiz Night - Archway - North London

Themed Quiz
Halloween Themed Quiz
Themed Pub Quiz Night - Archway - North London

its free to enter and usually starts about 8.30pm - though it can be a little later if the football is on.  

It's a little bit challenging, a little bit bizarre, but always good fun, and never taken too seriously. although winning IS important. 

Tuesday's: on Archway Rd, between Highgate & Archway. All you need is a few friends, some General Knowledge and a little humour.

There are drinks awards occasionally and sometimes its a bit nitty gritty on the last set of questions -

So if you're in North London and its Quiz time

Tuesday 16 October 2012


It's quiz night again. Hurray !!
This week iit will be loosely based around:
O's, October, Octoberfest and Other stuff !

Standard rules of engagement
No Fee, Big prizes and a few laughs !!

8.30 sharp for kick off.

see you at the bar.

Monday 8 October 2012

MUSIC Quiz is back

Big Bad Music Quiz

Get yer teams tuned in and try to win
this weeks Music Quiz

See you at the pub

Sunday 16 September 2012

Birthdaze - Birthday's - Friday's

BIRTHDAY TIME - Friday marks one year of serving you all booze.

The newspapers came off the windows - we hustled and rushed to get this place a bit more like its surroundings.

And because of great support from locals, residents, regulars and the hospital staff - we are still here and thriving.

A BIG, BIG thanks to all of you - and why not pop in on FRIDAY for a bit of a knees up round the old Joanna !! - whatever that means???

Olympics, royal tits, banking corruption and stupid politicians don't matter - The Pub is OPEN...

Monday 27 August 2012

Black and White and Red all over QUIZ

What is Black and white and can't turn round in corridors?

A Nun with a Javelin through her head !!

.... hopefully we will deliver a better level of comedy at this weeks quiz.
Fun and frolics around Black & White & Red - Don't misss it !

Its FREE to enter and there are booze, sweets and cash prizes.. 

Saturday 18 August 2012

The Charlotte Despard Pool Tournament

  • seeing as we have a lovely pool table in residence,

    we've decided on a killer pool comp -

    winner takes home a mixed case of Vedett...

    come & have a go if you think you're good enough!

Saturday 4 August 2012

DJ Liz Wheatley is back - funk soul sister

Fancy a bit of soul on a Saturday night?
Come to the Charlotte Despard, N19 (5 mins from Archway tube)

for rare groove, soul and more from LIZ WHEATLEY 
from 9pm-1am. 
See you there!

Sunday 15 July 2012

Sunday 24 June 2012

England Vs Italy Quarter Final Euro 2012

Big One then...
7.45pm - on our big tellies - with the sound blaring...
Don't miss this one. Tables are all booked. Even barstools have been booked.

Come on England - lets get this job done and ...Semi-finals?

Thursday 14 June 2012

Euro 2012 The Charlotte Despard Footy

A little bit of footy over the weekend.. 
Thursday, June 14
Italy v Croatia, Group C, 5pm, City Stadium - Poznan, Poland BBC1

Friday, June 15
Sweden v England, Group D, 7.45pm, Olympic Stadium - Kiev, Ukraine BBC1

Saturday, June 16
Greece v Russia, Group A, 7.45pm, National Stadium - Warsaw, Poland BBC3

Sunday, June 17
Denmark v Germany, Group B, 7.45pm, Arena Lviv - Lviv, Ukraine ITV

Thursday 31 May 2012

Summer is here and The Charlotte Despard is cool

We have No Beer Garden or outside area,
We do have nice cold drinks in the shade !!!

Pop into The Charlotte Despard for a cool down

Thursday 3 May 2012

FA Cup FINAL followed by 2 DJ's called Dan

Yes - this Saturday night is a bit different !!
1st of all - Chelsea v Liverpool in the The FA Cup Final - at 5.15pm
followed closely by a revisit from our NEW YEARS EVE Duo

DJ DAN vs DAN DJ - gonna be playing everything YOU like til 1am
So don't miss it - Sundaze are for hangoverz !!

Tuesday 1 May 2012

Music Quiz is back at The Charlotte Despard

It's tonight, another blaring music quiz, carefully crafted to blow your ears and then your mind.

don't miss it - starts 8.30pm and finishes when the "BEARS" sing "ANGELS"

Tune in
Turn on

then drink !

Thursday 19 April 2012

Search for source of 'Charlotte's Tears' - Mystery of leak at Archway pub

Published: 13 January 2012
THEY call it “Charlotte’s tears” after Charlotte Despard, the suffragette imprisoned in Holloway.
It is a mystery leak that sends water running down the wall of an underpass beneath an Archway pub named after the turn-of-last-century agitator.
However, over the years the leak, about a litre every 5 minutes, has amounted to enough water to fill an Olympic-sized swimming pool, and Thames Water still can’t find the source.
The Pub says: the water tastes good enough to drink. He has even jokingly thought of bottling it and serving it to customers.
The trouble is there is rather a lot of it. Mr Sparks estimates that at least 90,000 litres of water – enough to fill 420 beer barrels – are being lost each year.
We don't like to see waste, and we have regularly complained about the leak since he took over the Charlotte Despard pub in Archway Road two years ago.
He said: “According to a Thames Water engineer this water may have been leaking for pos­sibly 10 or more years.
Engineers come out with listening devices to try and track the leak but complain they can’t hear anything because of the noise of traffic.
“It’s appalling when you think we are all constantly being implored to conserve water and warned of potential droughts.”
Now, with the help of Lib Dem councillor Arthur Graves, is hoping to call time on the leak.
“This is treated water,” he said. “I know because I can taste the fluoride.
It probably comes from a broken main somewhere or even the reservoir ­further up the hill towards Highgate.
“It shouldn’t be all that difficult to find the source.”
Cllr Graves said that Thames Water should use all its resources to stop the leak.
“We are constantly being told that water is not an infinite resource,” he added.
“And here we have gallons wasting away, probably for years.
“They must have the technology to find the source.
The engineers should also contact Transport for London, who are responsible for the underpass.”

ANYONE ELSE NOT HAPPY WITH THIS WASTE ? - TFL yesterday blamed 2 things:
1. The Olympics
2. No Budget

I must say all the buses are looking clean and washed !!!

Nine in Ten TFL CCTV cameras fail to solve a single crime

Londoners are among the most surveyed people anywhere in the world, captured by cameras in nearly every aspect of their daily lives. Some reports have estimated that Britain is home to as many as 20% of the world’s total CCTV cameras. In November 2011 Transport for London announced it was looking to spend between £20m and £60m on its CCTV capability.
Research published today by Big Brother Watch casts serious doubt on whether that investment will do anything to reduce crime or improve public safety.Figures obtained under the Freedom of Information act show how:
• TFL operates at least 82,826 CCTV cameras
• In the last twelve months, 6,972 police requests for footage were granted by TFL
• Accordingly, footage from 91.6% of cameras was not used by the police
This is hardly surprising, given it reflects previous academic studies into the use of CCTV. Indeed, the Metropolitan Police’s own research found how fewer than one crime was solved by every 1,000 cameras in the capital. Yet the British fondness for CCTV shows no sign of waning, despite a lack of any credible evidence existing that CCTV either deters or prevents crime.
The significant resources being spent on surveillance are diverting money away from policing methods that could prevent crime and protect the public. CCTV is not a substitute for policing.
Britian is unique in the widespread and relentless use of CCTV across every aspect of our lives. It continues to represent a disproportionate intrusion into the privacy of law abiding people, without delivering a corresponding improvement in public safety.
You can download the report here.

on an extra note.....

"We will further regulate CCTV."
The Coalition: Our Programme for government - May 2010

"Our priority needs to be to make these CCTV systems - on which we all very much depend - legal as quickly as possible. This will without doubt raise standards of the capture, quality and security of CCTV images. Once this has been done we can then be confident on the full reliance of CCTV - and thus utilise fully all aspects of this wonderful tool."
CameraWatch - March 2011

"The UK is the most spied upon nation in the world - why doesn't it have the lowest crime rate?"
"Research shows that CCTV simply does not work, so isn't it just a huge waste of money?"

NO CCTV campaign - 2011

Wednesday 18 April 2012

Thames Water - standard behaviour

The leaks, the freaks, excuses are weaker,
future is damp and seems to get bleaker,
used to be able to catch it all in a beaker,
but now its run over a full -2 million litres.

The Kitchen will be open soon

Just pop in and check - the bar is open every day.

Thursday 12 April 2012

The next Charlotte Despard quiz will be...

We've decided the theme for next weeks quizzeroonie.......
It is all going to be built around the AMAZING...are you ready for it?....

Mr Potato Head !!

No plastic potatoes here though... you need to be thinking, faces, games, marketing and art
looks like we'll have to dig into the cupboard of doom and find the box of dreams .. again!
hopefully see you all for Tuesday QUIZ NIGHT - right here at The Charlotte Despard 

Saturday 7 April 2012

LIZ + SOUL + EASTER = Messy?

You know the drill....

We book Liz -
Then everybody comes here and dances !


see you later for an Easter Soul Shakedown

Saturday 10 March 2012

Wii bowling at the Charlotte Despard

So - we played bowling and it was going soooooooooo well until..... Clovis beat me into the ground.

Could anyone beat this 195??

Fair play Clo. i challenge you to a REMATCH soon

Friday 9 March 2012

another BIG weekend of rugby is fast upon us. 

& to celebrate we're offering BIG bacon sarnies, all the red or brown sauce you need & a bottle of Vedett or Floris for the bargain price of four paand fifty (£4.50)

.... c'mon Wales! 

The Charlotte Despard 
- proudly sponsor Bacon & Beer

Sunday 4 March 2012

Spring has sprung at The Charlotte Despard

1st of all A BIG THANKS to Dan & Tom for having their birthday shindig here.. it was a great party and its always good to see Robin shakin his booty.. class tunage by Dan.

So What's next... well after Liz Wheatley set off her 1st monthly of the year.. glad you're better chuck.
We're planning a big party for the end of April.
Quiz as usual or as unusual on a Tuesday

The Subway is still leaking...

more soon.

Saturday 18 February 2012

Big Quiz - Staff Vs Punters

BIG QUIZ - Want to know more..?
A massive Quiz - where the staff take on the punters - who's up for it ??

So here's the short format rules:
:: 10 rounds of broad headed questions. i.e: SCIENCE, WORLD LEADERS, INVENTIONS, etc..
::They will be divided into 2 separate question envelopes (A & B) with 3 questions each envelope.
::Toss of a coin will decide who chooses the 1st round envelope. After that, the previous round winners will choose.
:: 1 point for each question correct - no steals
:: The Charlotte Despard (home team) - will have ALL players available for ALL questions
:: The Ramshackle Collective (visitors team) - will be allowed to play a maximum of 5 specialists for each question set.
:: Once the Quiz master has announced the title of the round - i.e. "SCIENCE" - The Visitors will have 30 seconds to assemble a team of 5 specialists into the "HOT-SEATS"
:: A SENSIBLE amount of time will be allowed to answer questions.

::  Each player may only take the HOT-SEAT a maximum of twice.
:: There may be animated or creative rounds. - max 5 points per round.
:: The team with the most points at the end of the quiz - WINS
:: The Quiz-master's decision is final.

........Thats it - see you there maybe !?

Saturday 7 January 2012

6 Nations Rugby is coming

yep - 6 Nations Rugby is nearly here..
and its on at a sensible time too..

check The Charlotte Despard website for all the fixtures.
should be a bit of a do..

see you at the bar!

Thursday 5 January 2012

15,000 page views of our blog - whoop

Today we clicked over 15,000 page views - so - thanks to all who dropped by.
and here is a poem to celebrate:

blogspot blues
whatever you choose
when you buy your booze
have a peruse before you snooze.
comment and bruise !